A few nights ago my friends were watching the final episode of the Bachelor. Having heard a lot about this television program, I thought I would give it a go.

For those who have somehow not heard of this show, let me paint a picture. The series revolves around a single bachelor or bachelorette, who is surrounded by 20-30 beautiful men or women. Over a period of three months they go on dates, while the man or woman is prying for the bachelors attention. If they want to continue dating, they will hand them a rose.

As I watched the finale, it was filled with excessive amounts of drama, pain and unknowns. Two girls were going head to head to fight for the bachelor, concluding with him choosing who he wanted to propose to.

Throughout the show, all I could think about was what if this wasn't based on the intimacy, the emotion, the security?

Now I know what makes television - "good" television is the drama. In order for viewers to be hooked, there needs to be a line they fall for. Our hearts and minds want there to be a resolution.

Understandably the girls knowing they were up against others, brought a lot of insecurity. As they would express their fear, hurt and worries about not being the girl who got chosen, this played into the intimacy. They would lean into the man because they were fearful of losing him.

One girl had a past, which she shared with the bachelor. Whereas the other girl didn't share to the same depth. But in both relationships they found comfort and security in the man. Ultimately bringing more heartbreak when he had to say goodbye to one.

What would the world be like if our motives weren't based on that emotion? Would this plot twist lose viewers?

As I was watching all I could think was, what if this program wasn't based on the intimacy and the impulse. Now this doesn't come from a place of naivety, or being "too Christian", but simply out of a place of, what is relationship based on?

Our emotions change, attractions fade but what is left is the connection between the two.

I believe this is why God calls us to live a Holy life. To be Holy means to be set apart. We are Holy because He has made us Holy. It isn't because He is a strict, mean God, but because He is a loving Father who knows what is best for His kids.

He knows how delicate our hearts are and He actually likes that. He wants them to be nurtured. After all, in Ezekiel chapter 36 verse 26 it says "and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh." By feeling, we can process our emotions.

We can feel the drama, pain and unknowns, and in the midst of it, lean into the One who understands.


Written by Becki Bowie

Originally Published for Christian Today