When I think of worship, I think of a power bigger than my own, I think of the impossible being made possible, and I think of breakthrough.
Growing up, I loved to sing because it would bring joy to my life but, as I matured music became an outlet for my emotions. It was a way for me to escape the burdens of life and see life as a child for a moment. When I got to a very low point in my life, I would sing songs to release what was in my heart. During that time in my life, I would finish singing and be covered in my our tears. I would feel angrier and in more bondage than I felt at the start. It was as if the thing that I was using to let go of my emotions was keeping me captive.
I grew up going to church my whole life, and I enjoyed the songs but, I could never understand how people could be crying or on their knees during worship. What I thought was even stranger was that after people had just finished crying from worship, then they would leave happy and full of joy after the service. When I would try and be emotional during the worship, I would just feel nothing.
During the low season of my life, I got invited to a youth retreat with my church. Since I had nothing to lose at that point, I said yes. When I got there, I notice fast that the majority of the time of the retreat would be worship. The preacher shared that God hears us and he loves us, and he wants to be our best friend. So, I started to share everything that was going on in my life from the good to horrible to God. In my heart, I felt like I had to make a decision that if I wanted to get to the full revelation of God’s presences then, I needed to surrender my entire life to him. When I gave God everything, that's when I heard God speak for the first time in my life and it was so clear.
Worship turn from not just being an experience but, an encounter with the heart of God. Where God speaks and I listen. Where God brings healing in my heart, transforms lives and moves in incredible ways. Worship is an opportunity for me to leave closer then I came, that is why I love to worship.